Dr Bob and Bill W

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Historical Retrospective

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• "AA is not for people who need it, its for people who want it."
• "Untreated alcoholism without the steps on a daily basis will make my past my future."
• "If youre not moving away from a drink youre moving closer to it."
• "Sobriety is a journey ..........not a destination"
• "Poor me.....poor me............pour me another drink"
• "It works -------it really does ! (page 88,line 8 in the big book)"
• "The road to sobriety is a simple journey for confused people with a complicated disease"
• "Dont drink, read the big book, and go to meetings"
• "Remember that alcoholism is incurable, progressive, and fatal"
• "Call your sponsor before, not after, you take the first drink"
• "One alcoholic talking to another...........one equals one"
• "There are 12 steps in the ladder of complete sobriety"
• "We can be positive that our drinking was negative"
• "If I think, I wont drink. if I drink, I cant think"
• "Be as enthusiastic about AA as you were about your drinking"
• "Alcoholism is the only disease that tells you youre all right"
• "An AA meeting is where losers get together to talk about their winnings"
• "AA is a school in which we are all learners and all teachers"
• "AA may not solve all your problems but it is willing to share them"
• "There are none too dumb for the AA program but many are too smart"
• "We all have another drunk left in us but we dont know if we have another recovery in us"
• "The person with the most sobriety at a meeting is the one who got up earliest that morning"
• "When a person tries to control their drinking they have already lost control"
• "We in AA dont carry the alcoholic; we carry the message"
• "The 3 ts of gratitude to repay AA for our sobriety: our time, our talent, our treasure"
• "AA is the highest priced club in the world.........if u have paid the dues, why not enjoy the benefits ?"
• "AA never opened the gates of heaven to let me in, AA did open the gates of hell to let me out"
• "Some people are so successful in AA that they turn out to be almost as good as they used to think they were when they were drinking"
• "Danger sign: when your eyes have wandered from the alcoholics who still suffers and needs help-----to the faults of those whom the program has already helped"
• "First we stayed sober because we have to............"
• "Then we stay sober because we are willing to.........."
• "Finally we stay sober because we want to............."
• "Active alcoholics dont have relationships; they take hostages"
• "Every recovery from alcoholism began with one sober hour"
• "Each and every alcoholic----sober or not----teaches us some valuable lessons about ourselves and recovery"
• "AA has a wrench to fit every nut that walks through a meeting room door"
• "How does one become an old-timer ? dont drink and dont die!"
• "Even my worst day in sobriety is better than my best day drunk"
• "When all else fails.........the directions are in the big book"
• "All you need to start your own AA meeting is a resentment and a coffee pot!!"
• "Why recovery never ends: the disease is alcoholISM, not alcoholWASM!"
• "The AA way of life is meant to be bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions"
• "The smartest thing an AA member can say is, help me"
• "In AA we say a coincidence is a miracle in which god chooses to remain anonymous"
• "It takes the good and bad AA meeting----the good and bad AA talk -----to make this fellowship work"
• "AA NEVER works for people who believe they ARE god"
• "Slippers in AA use the rdp---revolving door policy"
• "Alcoholics heal from the outside in.........but feel from the inside out"
• "Alcoholic drinkings three stages: impulsive, compulsive, repulsive."
• "We came to these rooms not because we drank a lot, but because we drank too much."
• "Having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die."
• "The MIRACLE happens when we get sober. The MAGIC happens when we apply the principles to all our affairs."
• "Having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die."
• "An alcoholic without a sponsor is like leaving Dracula in charge of the blood bank."
• "By drinking to someone elses health, you are ruining your own."
• "If you like everyone in AA, youre not going to enough meetings!"
• "People didnt recruit me for this program, alcohol did; and i might add: a fine job it did."
• "Most alcoholics would rather die than learn anything about themselves. In fact, they do."
• "My admiration for the phenomenon of Alcoholics Anonymous is boundless." ~Mercedes McCambridge
• "The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity." ~Author Unknown
• "You can preserve many things in alcohol...except your dignity." ~Author Unknown
• "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." ~Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald
• "One reason I dont drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time." ~Lady Astor
• "I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it." ~Thomas Jackson
• "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didnt drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~Jack Handey
• " Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902"
• "Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that its compounding a felony." ~Robert Benchley
• "The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotics Notebook, 1960"
• "Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living." ~Jean Kerr
• "Drunkenness is temporary suicide. ~Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness"
• "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness." ~Seneca
• "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~Henny Youngman
• "How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?" ~Author Unknown
• "Alcohol doesnt console, it doesnt fill up anyones psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God." ~Marguerite Duras
• "Alcoholism isnt a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play." ~Joyce Rebeta-Burditt
• "A few years back I was more a candidate for skid row bum than an Emmy. If I hadnt stopped drinking, I'd be playing handball with John Belushi right now." ~John Larroquette (adapted)
• "There is this to be said in favor of drinking, that it takes the drunkard first out of society, then out of the world."~Ralph Waldo Emerson
• "Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains." ~Mary Pettibone Poole
• "It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety." ~Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856
• "I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking and anything that might hamper me from getting my mind and body together. And the floodgates of goodness have opened upon me, spiritually and financially." ~ Denzel Washington
• "If drinking is interfering with your work, youre probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, youre probably an alcoholic." ~Author Unknown
• "THE PROBLEM: His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God. THE SOLUTION: You see, alcohol in Latin is spiritus and you use the same word for the highest religious experience as well as for the most depraving poison. The helpful formula therefore is: spiritus contra spiritum."
• "Those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind."
• "AA is not a program to get sober...its a program to live your life successfully and to be happy once you get sober."
• "I'd never trade my worst day sober for my best day drunk."
• "Being an alcoholic does not give me the excuse to act alcoholically."
• "I worked my using hard, so now I want to work my sobriety hard."
• "The shortest sentence in the Big Book is, It Works."
• "Every time I draw a sober breath Im like a fish out of water."
• "Drinking gave me the illusion that I might be alive." (Chekhov, Uncle Vanya)
• "I am one drink away from never being sober again for the rest of my life."
• "Put your chip under your tongue and if it dissolves you can take another drink."
• "If I could drink socially I'd get drunk every night."
• "Having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die."
• "Self will imprisoned me far more than bars ever did."
• "Ive definitely got the ism in alcoholism...thats incredibly short memory."
• "My sobriety depends on who God is, not who I am." (Duane M.)
• "Now that Im sober I hit my knees in a different way than I used to." (Jay)
• "Living our pre-AA active daily lifestyle was akin to switching seats on the Titanic."
• "A recovering alcoholic without a sponsor is much like leaving Dracula in charge of the blood bank."
• "First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man."
• "The secret to long term sobriety: Dont drink, dont die."
• "When I moved in sobriety, I went to the meetings and thought, Oh, you do things differently here...i.e., wrong." (Mike M.)
• "Our defects of character are the bars of a cage. The central point is not to study the bars, but to get out of the cage."
• "The most natural state of an alcoholic is irritable, restless, and discontented."
• "Funny...I ruined my health by drinking to others!"
• "The chains of alcohol are too light to be felt until they are too strong to be broken."
• "I didnt get into trouble every time I drank, but every time I got into trouble I was drinking."
• "Whatever you put before your sobriety; you shall surely lose."
• "AA is not for people who need it. AA is not for people who want it. AA is for people who do it."
• "Regarding hanging out at bars: If you hang out at the barbershop long enough you're bound to get a haircut.
• "If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim."

Meditation for 12 Step - Cleaning the House

Meditation for 12 Step - Cleaning the House

  So during my yoga teacher training we had to write meditations for the beginning of our classes.  It was suggested since I will be teaching the Yoga of Recovery to write a recovery based meditation.  I have to say I really enjoy this process.  What is most fun is hearing what people visualized when doing the meditation. 

So I won't write word for word what I did.  But I will give you something to visualize when meditating. 



Picture a set of 12 steps.  What do they look like?  Are they outside?  inside?  wood?  stone?  carpeted?  Get a good visual of your steps.

Notice there are obstacles on your steps.  As you slowly walk up your stairs clean up your stairs so you can walk through.

Once on your twelfth step look back down and notice this path you have made.  Notice how it feels.  Will you have to unload and go back down to clean up more? 

That is a shortened version and a general idea of the visual.  I was more specific and had people stop at specific Steps and related specific obstacles to pick up (character defects, etc.)

So what did people see? 

Types of steps - clouds, wood on a beach, wide with a red carpet, marble etc.
Obstacles - toys, dirty socks, assorted clutter etc.
Looking back down - still much to clean up but a path was made

Using these visuals can help in many ways.  It can help give us the confidence to work the Steps and clean up our stairs.  It lets us know it is a process.  We may not get our stairs fully clean the first time around but a path is made and that is but a beginning.  It is now easier to go back down the stairs and clean more, clearing our path a little more each time.  We can connect with our feelings in this process.  Although many don't like the feelings it may bring up which can help us dig even deeper. 

So WHY would we do any exercise like this?  Ultimately to let in the sunlight of the spirit.  To get closer to God, your Higher Power, deepen your spiritual connection.  It does not matter how you word it, clean house so there is nothing between you and spirit.  Then we can give back to others.  Our cups are full and we have something to give.  To keep our cups full so we are not drained "We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out."

 

Prayer of Protection - Using Meditation as a Method of 12th Step Service

The light of God surrounds me;
The love of God enfolds me;
The power of God protects me;
The presence of God watches over me.
Wherever I am, God is! 

by James Dillet Freeman

This prayer was written by Freeman, for soldiers during World War II. The "Prayer for Protection" was also carried to the moon in 1969 by Apollo astronaut, Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin who took the "Prayer for Protection" along on the first manned moon landing.

This is one of my favorite prayers to use for affirmations in meditation. I use each line as an affirmation and then change the pronoun at the of each line to "you," "them," or "us" depending who I am sending the intention towards.

example: "The light of God surrounds us."

Try this yourself in a mediation. Relax and begin your meditation as you usually do. Once quiet and centered, take the prayer one line as a time. Visualize the action of each line for yourself, or anyone else you wish to connect with through these intentions.

Remember, we can be of tremendous benefit to others by sending intentions during meditation. But, be careful to offer only general intentions such as these. We can not know what our Higher Powers will is for anyone so sending specific intentions for what we think another needs is not beneficial. But, by sending this open ended type of intentional energy we contribute to the highest good of Higher Powers purpose. 

Please let us know how this works for you!

Together in Meditation

Acceptance

Acceptance is one of the greatest personal characteristics."When I am practicing acceptance what serenity it brings. Notice I said "when I am practicing acceptance." With some things it seems to come fairly easily. Can't do much about the weather. Acceptance. Can't change who my family is. Acceptance. But when it comes to the people closest to me why is it such a struggle? I am a mother, I want good things for my child. He is now a teenager and what he thinks is "good" and what I think is "good" are from alternate universes. So where is the acceptance? It is out there waiting for me. It takes me some time to get there but ultimately when it comes to others I don't have much of a choice. Acceptance IS the key. Getting there quicker is my goal.

David's words describing acceptance are extremely helpful. I am always in such awe of people who can us words to describe things. What a gift to help people understand a concept clearly. I will gladly accept A Simple Gift and hopefully will be able to pass those concepts on to another with clarity.

 

 

 Many people think of yoga as stretching for fitness.  What is really on the mat is preparation for meditation.  It is working the body and mind to better settle into quiet.  This quiet time helps to improve our conscious contact with a Higher Power.
No matter if your taking yoga class at a studio or practicing in the home allow yourself that extra time when finished to sit quietly afterwards.  If coming from a yoga studio try to keep talking to a minimum or none until you can get to your meditation.  You may need to quietly leave class when finished and find your quiet space either in your home or a special space outside.  Some teachers leave time for a deep meditation period after class and that may be all you need.

Focus on the breath especially when distracted.  Distraction is normal in meditation.  Simply bring your concentration back to your breath.  Breathe deeply all the way down to the belly, expanding it like your belly is a balloon on your inhalations.  Keep your mouth closed and breath through the nose only. 

Most importantly do not judge your practice. If you have just started or have been doing this for years it is all good.  One baby step at a time.  One inhalation at a time.  One experience at a time.  Just keep practicing one day at a time.

 

What is it that I can 'do' differently today in order to 'feel' better?

• Ask God to guide and direct my thinking
• Accept that no matter how long I stay sober, there are some people who may never really trust me
• Pray for forgiveness in my heart
• Let go of my need to be in control
• Repeat over and over "Thy will, not mine be done"
• Do the next indicated action and not concern myself with the outcome
• Lower my expectations
• Remember to keep sobriety my number one priority
• Trust that God is in charge
• Expect nothing except a miracle

I'm not thinking about drinking. My automatic first thought amongst turmoil is how good a drink sounds. But that first thought is just a big fat lie. I have learned that I am not responsible for that first thought, but I am responsible for my next action. I don't believe everything I think anymore.

"Love and tolerance are our code"

Believing is the beginning of anything we accomplish in our life. If we don't believe something is possible, we usually won't even bother to try it. If you want to change, you have to first believe that you can change. That's what Step Two is all about. In Step One we admit that we have to make a change...in Step Two we believe that such a change is possible. If you don't believe you can change, you won't.

Many people confuse belief and faith. But faith and belief are very different. Belief comes before an action or decision...faith only comes afterward, as the result of an action or decision. There is a huge difference between just believing in something and knowing it, having genuine faith in it.

I heard a great illustration of this difference in a Big Book study. Suppose you've just moved to a new town where you do not know anyone. Your car needs repairs and you don't know where to take it to get fixed. You introduce yourself to your neighbors and ask them if they know of a good mechanic in town. They recommend a fellow named Frank. "Frank does good honest work and we've been taking our cars there for years." So you decide to take your car to Frank.

Now you've never met Frank, and you've only known the neighbors who recommended him for a few minutes. But you decide to take your car to Frank because you believe that your neighbor is telling the truth. You don't have faith in Frank yet, only belief. But that belief is enough for you to make a decision and take action.

So Frank works on your car, fixes it correctly and promptly, and charges a fair price. You are pleased with the work done, so when you have another problem with your car a year or so later, you take it back to him for repair. This time, though, you're going back to Frank on faith, not just on belief. You have faith he can fix your car well, based on your actual experience.

In Step Two, we come to believe in the possibility of change and in the possibility of a Power that can make that change happen. In Step Three, we make a decision based on that belief. Today I have faith in that Power because I was willing to believe and made a decision to take action. That faith is not based on any hope or wish, but on my own actual experience. But I couldn't get to that faith, without choosing to believe first.

"Belief is the cause of our actions...faith is their result."

Why Is Spirituality a Problem for People With Addictions?

 

Many people with addictions are put off getting help, because they have heard that there is a spiritual element to recovery, and they do not feel that they can function within a spiritual framework. The 12 step movement, with its focus on a higher power, can be particularly challenging. Some of the reasons that people with addictions feel strongly about this include:

• Not having a religious background, and feeling uninformed about religion and spirituality.

• Feeling that religion is about controlling people, and not wanting to be controlled or to be part of an approach that controls others.

• Recognizing the role of religions in war and other atrocities, and not wanting to be associated with them.

• Being an atheist -- believing that there is no God.

• Being agnostic -- believing that there is no way of knowing whether God exists, so it is hypocritical to pretend you know that there is a God.

• Having had an unpleasant or abusive experience with a member of a church or religious organization, particularly if they were in a leadership position.

• Having experienced or witnessed such severe abuse, pain or suffering, that the idea of a God who could have prevented this makes no sense in any positive way.

• Feeling uncomfortable with the idea that some religious doctrines associate human suffering with past failings or wrongdoings, and are somehow "deserved."

These are all valid reasons for rejecting or refusing involvement in a religious organization. But they do not, in themselves, exclude you from discovering your own spiritual path. Many people are able to connect their spiritual path with an organized religion, but many others do not require a "religion."

So If Spirituality Is Not the Same as Religion, What Is Spirituality?

Spirituality is part of the human experience in which we explore who were are and what our life is about. This can include some of the following:

• Getting in touch with your own moral compass -- a way of knowing what is right and what is wrong according to your own beliefs and principles. These beliefs do not need to be handed to you by a religion, you can discover them by exploring your own thoughts and feelings.

• Learning to use your moral compass as a guide for how to live your life. For example, if you believe it is wrong to lie, finding ways to live more truthfully.

• Respecting yourself and others. People who grow up in abusive situations may find this difficult, but ultimately very fulfilling when they achieve it.

• Getting perspective on your problems. This includes recognizing that it is possible to improve your situation with willpower and support.

• Realizing that we all have human weaknesses, and letting go of pride that may be getting in the way of asking for help if you need it.

• Receiving and giving support to others.

Taking it Further

While these are spiritual activities that can help enormously with most people who are working on overcoming addictions, there are other spiritual activities that a smaller number of people are able to engage in. They are not essential to the recovery process, but may lead to a happier life. Don't put yourself under pressure to do this if you are not ready.

• Discovering your unique gifts and talents, and creating a life that uses them.

• Forgiving people who hurt or abused you in the past.

• Seeking forgiveness from others.

• Gaining new insights -- "learning" from your experiences of addiction.

• "Giving back" to the community, for example, volunteering or working in the addictions field or related areas.

Some of the newer approaches to healing, such as mindfulness based therapies, incorporate Eastern spiritual practices, without a requirement to believe in a higher power or religion. This can be a good way to get in touch with your spirituality, without getting embroiled in ambivalence about your beliefs, or feelings of inconsistency between the therapy and your beliefs or lack of them.